How to Alleviate Wedding Planning Conflict

kindness-pleaseThey say that the three most stressful things you will ever do in your lifetime are –

  1. Buy a house
  2. Have children
  3. Plan a wedding

….not necessarily in that order. These things have the power to both make and break important relationships, even the strongest ones. We understand the complex issues that arise with planning a wedding and empathise with all couples out there who resonate with this.

In an attempt to reassure and alleviate anxieties surrounding your planning, here are some (hopefully straightforward) suggestions to help you with any conflicts…

Select mediators…

It may be that certain relationships become especially fractious over the period of your engagement, be it your mother-in-law, maid-of-honour, father. Avoid one-to-one situations with these people for this time but designate someone you trust, has a calming influence and an objective perspective to be with you in these situations where possible.

Know your boundaries…

Try writing a list of stress ‘triggers’, whether rational or irrational, and help each other to recognise your ‘cut off’ point. It may be any mention of wedding favours, the guest list, or Auntie Gladys, give yourself permission to leave to room when these topics are raised. Walk away, breathe deeply and move on to something else.bridechilla-tote-13-00-green-background-crop

Be business like…

Treat your wedding planning like a business. This might help in making rational, non-subjective choices. This doesn’t mean compromising on what you really want or on creativity, it helps establish the wedding day as an Event, and separates the things surrounding it, such as relationship and the bigger picture of your marriage. Suppliers are also easier to manage in a business arrangement as you can approach them on a mutual grounding. See the relationship as it is, that of client and customer, and save your heart any more ache.

Be kind…

…both to yourself, your partner and all others. A wedding day is the beginning of a life-long future and any unkindness will be remembered along the way. You need each other, you need your family, you need your friends and you need your best self. It’s easy to be distracted by ‘things’ when planning a wedding but relationships stay with you forever. You will never regret being kind to those who matter.r-marriage-quotes-large570