So, after our work last week on personal vows, you have your list of things that make your partner special to you. How do you bring it all together in an organised fashion when writing your own vows?
There are certain elements they need to include, a statement of who your partner is to you, what you love about them, a little story that demonstrates this and finally your promises. Let’s look at these individually.
When I think about my husband, he’s my best friend. His crazy matches my crazy, we find the same things funny and even if no one else laughs, that’s OK because we are. Find a statement that sums up exactly who your partner is to you and the next few bits should flow.
Saying you love everything about your partner is actually a bit impersonal and doesn’t live up to the ideal of writing your own vows. What is the one thing your partner does for you that no one else can do that you love? What little things do they do to show you they care, whether it’s running you a bath when you’ve had a bad day or go running with you even though they would rather be at home.
In a million little ways, your partner shows you they love you, so this is a good time to show them that you recognise and appreciate them.
Pick a story that covers this. It doesn’t have to be long, most anecdotes are actually only five hundred words and, in a setting such as a wedding ceremony, brevity is your friend.
And while I would recommend keeping your final vows secret until the day, this is one part you should check your partner is happy with you sharing. Your wedding vows is not the time to be embarrassing them.
The next bit is your promises to one another, your vows, and this is where your tone will come in. Your vows might be playful, “I promise not to hog the remote control,” or “I promise to support your football team even though I really don’t care who wins.”
They could also be romantic, that you promise to be their rock in times of trouble, to be an ear when they need it, their greatest cheerleader and their voice of reason.
Whatever you pick, these are really important because you’re publicly committing to these promises in front of friends and family. So, do not promise to obey if this is not you, but do remember to acknowledge there will be hard times (for better or worse as the saying goes) and you will support them through those times.
Look to the future as well, don’t just focus on the here and now. You’re building a life together, include what you’re hopes for that future are and what you are going to do to work towards them.
And do not forget to say “I love you”. It might go without saying, but it’s still special to hear it on your wedding day.
If you missed part one of Writing Your Own Vows click here.
Why not follow Capesthorne Hall on Instagram to see images from our latest weddings.